pippa middleton baby book

“Home births are all the rage. These are like other births, but at one of your homes.”

Have an expectant friend who needs a gift but already owns Go The Fuck To Sleep? Well she can never have too many parody baby books for cool parents, so it’s a good thing another one is coming out.

The Pippa Middleton Tips parody Twitter account @pippatips has gotten a book deal, and for once we’re able to look at a parody Twitter account book with something more than envy, because this one’s pretty funny. It has high production values, colorful photos, and tips like:

“Your doctor or midwife will ask you for your family history. If you don’t have this available as a published volume, a simple list of names and incomes should suffice.”

“If you need handy excuses to explain why you’re not eating or drinking certain things, why not try these: ‘This shellfish isn’t sustainably sourced’; ‘Thank you, no, I’m eating at the palace later’.”

“Your baby may now be able to hear sounds from outside the womb. This is a prime opportunity to start to teach them a second language or the harp.”

“Giving birth can smart a bit, so relieve the pain by taking every drug you’re offered. It is, however, considered bad form to bring your own.”

The parody Pippa Middleton baby book, When One Is Expecting: A Posh Person’s Guide To Pregnancy And Parenting  is written in the style of the real Pippa Middleton’s not very well received party-planning book, Celebrate!, which inspired the creation of the parody Twitter in the first place. The real Pippa Middleton’s book dispenses valuable advice like, “If you live near the sea, a fun idea could be a trip to the beach with seaside activities, such as building sandcastles.”

Since Middleton’s book arrived ripe for parody, @pippatips set up shop right away, offering similarly helpful advice like, “Dressing up in nice clothes is a stylish way to look great at a party.” Now she has nearly 50,000 followers and a pretty sweet book deal.

“A publisher made a pleasing financial offer so after a few moments of hard thought the idea for When One Is Expecting just popped into my head,” the anonymous Twitter author explained.

Via The Daily Mail/Photo: Facebook/Icon Books