Jennifer: Look, it’s really hard to hate anyone who appears on Sesame Street. Besides, how is “California Gurls” a bad song? They are so hot they will melt your popsicle. They are radioactive, those California dream mutants. Kissing a girl? Liking it? That’s just called “that one party at college!” Nothing wrong with that. Also, I like anyone who thinks that food is so fashionable they will wear whipped cream can bras. Seriously, she seems irreverent, and as though she doesn’t take any of this too seriously, and I think she’d be fun to hang out with. Katy Perry, I am open to your offers of friendship.

Lilit: I don’t like people who have a song called “UR So Gay” (bad grammar plus using ‘gay’ as an insult equals fail) and another one about how they kiss girls for fun. Also,  quit dressing like a cartoon character already. You’re a grownup.