Today over coffee (because, where else?), a friend of mine mentioned that in recent years, she had become more aware of girlfriends with whom she had one-way relationships — she gave a lot of herself, and got next to nothing in return. As she realized it, she said, she cut some of these “friends” out of her life.
I’ll admit — this is something to which I’ve given a lot of thought. Because I (and, I’m sure, we all) have friends who are more trouble than they’re worth. Maybe they only talk about themselves, maybe they have no compassion, maybe they’re that one girl that likes to slip in backhanded undercutting digs so you don’t even realize you’ve been insulted until you wake up the next morning.
So yes, I can think of a few people off the bat (you…um, likely don’t know who you are) who, if I had the cajones, I’d break up with. So why haven’t I ever done it? Is it just spinelessness? Is it fear of their reaction? Of the fact that once I start realizing my friends’ faults, I might never stop? I mean, sure — I’ve certainly avoided people to the point that it amounted to a break-up, usually after first moving to a different city (I believe they call that “confronting the problem head-on”). But I’ve never clearly and outright told someone that as a friendship, this just wasn’t working out.
What about you?