In collecting stories for today’s Real Talk, I kept making this joke about how everybody’s first time drinking was with screwdrivers, peach Schnapps or something really heinous like creme de menthe. But you know what? I was wrong. Everybody’s first time drinking was fucking traumatizing. There’s a few jolly drunk tales in here, but for the most part, the following gallery is full of 13 and 14-year-olds throwing up in painful and humiliating situations. Feel free to share equally horrible experiences in the comments.