For some reason, Lindsay Lohan’s age — although of course I already knew it — startled me. The woman has gone through enough drama in her life to make any casual observer believe that she’s at least 40 years old. Now, she’s starring as porn star Linda Lovelace in a movie about Lovelace’s epic role in Deep Throat. If that doesn’t say “I’ve lived,” nothing does. Let us rehash the ways in which LiLo seems to have lived a touch more than her 23 years:

  • In and out of rehab enough times to account for double her life span.
  • In and out of dramatic relationships that seem to carry more baggage than anyone could possibly acquire in such a short amount of time.
  • Consumed enough drugs and alcohol to fuel about 45 years of addiction.
  • Great success followed by rapid decline and loss of respect in Hollywood that takes most actors years to accomplish.
  • Acquisition of SCRAM bracelet.

So yes — LiLo is a cautionary tale of young stardom. But I remain hopeful that she will take what she’s learned in her 45 23 years and combine it with her undeniable Foster-esque acting ability and make Lovelace proud. I know I’ll watch.