Man, Rihanna really upped the tone-deaf and tasteless ante with the new music video for her inexplicable Coldplay duet, “Princess of China.” We’re pretty impressed with just how much “Eastern stuff!” they managed to jam under one parasol. First off, Rihanna describes her look in the video as “gangsta goth geisha,” which would be, uh, better if the song were called “Princess of Japan.” It’s not. :(

Here’s our initial list of the most offensive things, but we’re sure if you watch closely you can find more:

1. Chris Martin
2. Multiple arms, Hindu imagery.
3. Ninjas are Japanese.
4. So are those taiko drums.
5. Thigh-high pleather boots.
6. Ugh, Chris Martin. Again.
7. The song having no real structure
8. Or appeal.
9. Why is this even called “Princess of China?”
10. Coldplay

We’re sure Rihanna has “no fucks to give” and will probably suck on her middle finger in tantalizing defiance or some shit, but we have many fucks to give! We set them aside for days like this. We burrow fucks like fucks-having squirrels.

Watch the video:

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