Dear pervy statues: you can be naked all you want, if that’s your thing, but you can’t “sext.” If you do, you will be kicked out of the park and demolished behind the closest building. Do we make ourselves loud and clear?
As we should all be well aware by now, sexting is bad. It is never OK behavior. For those of you who think it is, you are deviants, heathens and guys with the last name Weiner. How it is that an artist would think that a statue (entitled “Accept or Reject”) depicting such vileness would be an OK idea is mind-boggling. Just as how a town in Kansas would think it appropriate to put the statue in the eyes of innocent children is perplexing on all the senses. Bare breasts plus camera equals the work of the devil.
Kansas resident Joanne Hughes has taken it upon herself to fight the devil. She’s started a petition (got over 47,000 signatures!) to have the statue removed before her kids get any funny ideas. While she said that Michaelangelo‘s David is “beautiful,” according to Hughes, the difference between David and “Accept or Reject,” is that David isn’t taking a photo of himself. But why isn’t he? Oh, because there weren’t cameras back then.
Look at David! If he had a camera at his disposal, do you really think he wouldn’t be sexting himself left and right all day? Huh, Ms. Hughes? He has a slammin’ physique; he’d absolutely be taking photos of himself every chance he got and running out of batteries and chargers in the process to do so.
Hughes has managed to compile the necessary amount of signatures to get this case taken to the grand jury to decide on the matter. She wants that sexting statue out of the park and put some place where it can’t harm children or influence others.
Personally, I know I’ve been influenced by the statue. I just sent about 30 sexts out to random people — to numbers I’m not even sure exist! So if you got a nude photo of a woman holding a pizza box, for artistic effect naturally, sent to your phone this morning, it was me. I’m not going to apologize though, because the statue made me do it.