Nicole Polizzi–better know as Snooki–gave birth to 6 pound, 5 oz. Lorenzo Dominic LaValle yesterday morning around 3:00 AM at Livingston, N.J.’s Saint Barnabas Medical Center. The father is fiance Jionni LaValle.

Yes, she’s already tweeted about it (multiple times): “I am SO IN LOVE with my son Lorenzo Dominic ! I had my little man last night, healthy at 6lbs! HE’S MY WORLD! ❤” and “Thank you all for your love and support!! Lorenzo loves you guys already! ✌” and etc.

Yes, a rep had some gross copy at the ready, too: “The world just got another Guido!!! Lorenzo Dominic LaValle has entered the world weighing 6lbs, 5oz. Nicole, Jionni & Enzo are doing great!”

Yes, she’s already planning spinoffs (with JWOWW): “I want four total, so hopefully, when I have my second, she’s ready to have her first, so they can either date and make an offspring together — so they can make a Snooki/JWoww baby. So, they’re either gonna date or be best friends.”

We’re sorry. It’s early and it’s Monday morning and we’re having some trouble finding the humor in this because Snooki is completely vile and we’d rather she not exist.

Also, comedian Josh Comers said it best:


(MTV, photo via Daniel Tanner/