nomi malone

Not just super weird names like “Apple.” I’d happily date an Apple, personally, because they seem like they’d probably have had to cultivated a pretty good personality. Not so with anyone named Naomi.

Chuck Klostermanm (whose new book I Am The Black Hat is excellent) tells Bookish that, among others, you should not date a:

5. Naomi

If a red-haired woman is named Naomi, hide in the basement. She is the postmodern “Jezebel.”

6. Derrick

Science tells us that almost 82 percent of guys named “Derrick” are jerks. How can you argue with science?

Look, I want to say this goes double for Nomi’s, because just look at Showgirls.

You can’t argue with science, I guess. Over at TheGloss, we’re wary of:


On the other hand, I’m almost certainly date someone with an obviously evil name like Beelzebub. I’d probably assume that they’d had to work really hard to compensate for it, and spent a lot of time volunteering with various worth causes and generally being nice to people. Obviously, I could be pretty mistaken about this, and there’s a good chance this means I will end up dating the devil or one of his minions when introduced to a “Satan” or “Belial” at a party. Admittedly, that doesn’t happen that often, but it’s not like it could never happen.

No matter. I’d still date Belial over at Tara any day of the week (sorry, Taras. If you are a Tara reading this, I am almost certain that you are the one exception to this general rule).

Picture via Showgirls.