You know, I’ve always said that when it comes to reality TV, I’ll watch just about anything, but the Kardashians are one reality family up with which I cannot put. And never have I stood by that statement as hard and fast as after reading this exchange, that they had on the Conan O’Brien Show:

Kourtney: I actually told Khloe that I found her sex mask under my bed, that she’s been looking for, and she wrote me back, “OMG I found your jar of mayonnaise that you use on your vagina.” And then we were talking back and forth and people asked what does mayonnaise on your vagina do? And we said it makes it shine like the top of the Chrysler building. But why would you want a shiny vagina anyways?

So let’s remember who’s talking here, shall we? This one is Kourtney. For those of you who, understandably, find the Kardashians as hard to distinguish from one another as a zoo cage full of squealing primates, I’ll remind you that Kourtney is the eldest. That means she’s 31, and she has a young son, and in theory, she’s the sister who may at one point or another have been something of a role model for those other two moronic bouncy balls with hair.

And she thinks it’s funny to talk about putting mayo on your vagina.

Let’s talk about what might happen if you actually put mayo on your vag and let it sit there for a while. You would probably get the worst yeast infection of any vagina, ever.

Now let’s talk about what kind of person normally thinks it’s funny to talk about putting random foodstuffs on vaginas.

It’s 12-year old boys.

And that’s all there is to say.