shutter_french dog

Alright listen up, little cabbages. Bastille Day is this Sunday, and it’s a doozy to celebrate. According to the introductory paragraph of an excellent Wikipedia article, Bastille Day “commemorates 1790 Fête de la Fédération, held on the first anniversary of the storming of the Bastille on 14 July 1789.” The storming of the Bastille, a prison, was “seen as a symbol of the uprising of the modern nation.” We’re talking about the French Revolution, I think. I didn’t read the whole article, because I have shit to do like research Waco or inspect my vagina with a compact mirror. Let’s get sexy.

If you want to take this holiday off and not go as wild as you did last year, you can cheat it by drinking wine straight from the bottle while wearing nothing but a beret and blasting Edith Piaf‘s party classics alone in your apartment.

But maybe you smoke French cigarettes or watch French films or speak French or are insufferable. If you are any of those things, you’ll want to celebrate Bastille Day more enthusiastically. If you’d rather do something a little more involved, and let’s call it what it is, a little more French, you should consider making any of these sexy French recipes and then engaging in sexual congress. Vive la France!

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