Let me just get this right out of the way: YES, this post is inspired by neighbors that I have right now. Since they are a 45+-year-old man who lives with his 80+-year-old mother and berates her day in and day out, I’m not worried in the slightest that they will read this, so if you were wondering how I could be so brazen as to write about the people that live next door, there’s your answer.

Anyway, it doesn’t matter whether you’re living in a shitty apartment building with 500 other units or a sprawling mansion in Bel Air — shitty neighbors exist everywhere (just remember that someone has to live next door to Lindsay Lohan). Here are some of the worst of their kind:

The Musical Theater Major

The Raver

The Screaming Couple

The Yapping Dog

The Singer Songwriter

The Abusive Son

The Colicky Baby Sorry, it had to be said.

I’m sure you’re looking for the loud-sex havers, but let’s be real: those people pale in comparison to the rest of these types.