Real talk: eccentric designer Roberto Cavalli and eccentric Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi are friends, right? They have to be friends. Here are some things I imagine they say to each other while they are busy being friends. For bonus points, try to guess how many of these things they’ve actually said:
Silvio Berlusconi: Let’s talk about football and women. Why don’t you start?
Roberto Cavalli: Ask me if I love the colour of your eyes. And I will answer, yes. I love.
Silvio Berlusconi: I am the Jesus Christ of politics.
Roberto Cavalli: My eyes follow you, little big man.
Silvio Berlusconi: Italy is now a great country to invest in. Today we have fewer communists and those who are still there deny having been one. Another reason to invest in Italy is that we have beautiful secretaries… superb girls!
Roberto Cavalli: Do you know the name of my cat? Pussy! I tell you, she is very sexy!
Silvio Berlusconi: My children are incredibly fond of me, I believe I’m the most loved of parents. Sometimes women get a little nervous.
Roberto Cavalli: I never understand why God give the possibility to have children just to woman.
Silvio Berlusconi: Read The Black Book of Communism and you will discover that in the China of Mao, they did not eat children, but had them boiled to fertilise the fields!
Roberto Cavalli: Oh, my God, my dream would be to have a baby!
Silvio Berlusconi: Young women line up to marry me. I’m a nice guy. I’m loaded. Young women think “He’s old, he dies and I inherit it.”
Roberto Cavalli: I have a small monkey I kiss on the mouth. Is it like that?
(In case you were wondering, yes, those are all real quotes).