Perhaps the only thing worse than having your S.O. break up with you via text message is having your long-time manager quit via text message, then having the entire world find out about it. Which is exactly what happened to Tiger Woods last night.
Apparently his manager, with whom he’s worked for the past six years, felt it was time to end things for reasons that really, remain unknown. People reports that “Haney did not give a particular reason, saying it was just time to move on.”
I feel like I should feel something about this — but honestly, I just don’t really give a fuck about Tiger Woods. I didn’t give a fuck about him before the scandal, I was not at all surprised that he had eight million mistresses (was anyone really surprised by that? I mean, really??), I’m not surprised that he’s come back to golf, I won’t be surprised when he rises back to the top, when sponsors take him back or new sponsors appear, when perhaps his wife takes him back or a new wife appears, and when, within a year or so, this whole “situation” becomes merely a spot on his record. I won’t be surprised, despite the fact that headlines and editorials will use every step of his return as a reason to wonder aloud about the phenomenon of professional athletes falling out of favor, how shocking the Tiger episode was when he was such a golden boy, how women love athletes anyway, and the impact it all has on the poor innocent children. And everyone will still want to buy into the delusion that when you give someone unlimited power, money and access, they will somehow uphold the impossible, Puritanical values that even we who don’t have power, money and access can’t live up to.
And I swear to God, I still won’t care.