Time Magazine has an article up about “ultra-gay” hotels and resorts popping up throughout the country and, indeed, the world — and I can think of few reasons that any self-respecting person would stay anywhere else.

First of all, from the sounds of it they are going to be decorated to the nines, and in the utmost of style. Lords South Beach Hotel is described as having “brightly hued decor, trio of plunge pools and Absolut Vodka–partnered bar,” and custom-designed gray and white uniforms by Levi’s. Some of them will be clothing optional.

But perhaps the best part is that the hotels won’t have any people there who don’t like gays. I can tell you that nothing ruins an evening faster than finding out that you’re sitting next to bigots at the hotel bar. Maybe you’re even chatting with them, and the next thing you know they drop the f-bomb, or talk about their support for Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, or otherwise out themselves as ignorant.

And it just gets so…awkward after that. I mean, sure, you want to be supportive and everything, but I just don’t understand that way of life. Also, when you’re staying in a hotel with those kinds of people, you can never be sure about what’s going on around you, what kinds of people they’re cavorting with and bringing into their rooms, and — God forbid — what they might say to your children.

So really, it’s just better for all of us to have a place where we know that we’re with people who are…well, like us. And also, who appreciate amazing decor.