Full disclosure: I’m not a pot smoker. Not even  little bit. Pot renders me completely paranoid and debilitatingly self-conscious, and then I’m that weirdo sitting in the corner curled up against the wall like some 17-year-old in a Cobrasnake photoshoot, glaring mistrustfully at everyone in the room and wondering why they all hate me so much.

Not a party. And don’t tell me that I haven’t smoked “the right kind of weed,” you fucking hippie. I live in California. I’ve tried your special variations, your productive weed and your mellow weed and whathaveyou. I don’t like it.

That said, I probably won’t be trying this new marijuana beverage. CNN reports that a Colorado company has released a new soda with a groovy-looking packaging that has medical marijuana in the mix. Would you try it?

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