weight loss Are you interested in assigning arbitrary value to your body and also hating yourself? Is weight loss the only path to self worth? You really should check out a hot new book by a non-expert named Ruth Field called Run, Fat B!tch, Run, which will teach you how to be a functioning, non-fat human. Doesn’t P!nk have the monopoly on the old exclamation point for an i?

Hold on a moment, I thought that Field was not an expert, but it turns out that she ran a marathon, and like anyone who’s completed an achievement, she’s an expert in being a huge freaking douche.

run fat bitch run

There’s a lot wrong here, so let’s get into it:

1. The author, Ruth Field is a criminal barrister. In our language, that means she’s a defense lawyer. Law, to my knowledge, is a different profession than nutrition, personal training, or medicine.

2. Her assumption that she’s speaking a truth that the rest of us are just too afraid fat to say:

Really I am just naming that voice we all have inside our heads. Yours may be lying dormant or suffocating under all that excess weight but it is there. It’s that nagging little voice which makes you feel just a tad uncomfortable about helping yourself to another biscuit.

3. Who the hell is Ruth Field to call anyone a fat bitch? Well, she’s a person who’s never been obese in her life–at most, she needed to lose “a few pounds.” So she’s just a bitch, right? I mean, I really don’t care for that word at all, but if you’re going to go around yelling at people whose life experiences you don’t come close to understanding and calling them insulting names, that kind of makes you a huge asshole, at least.

4. Everyone hates running. Or whatever, maybe you don’t. But promising that running is the only way to a healthy life (only accomplished by being thin) is stupid.

5. Here’s a fun dietary tip from her book:

She again points to running being the answer here as runners tend to crave less sugary treats because of the feel-good factor they can get from running and tend to seek healthy foods as fuel to help them run.

Super psyched that this lawyer can give me so many ideas that sound suspiciously like they were written by a nutritionist, if a nutritionist didn’t know what she was talking about. I am a person who runs and I am also a person who eats ice cream every day and I’m very comfortable with that duality.

6. But wait! There’s more where that came from!

If you are consuming fizzy drinks, crisps and takeaways as part of your daily diet, this is the reason you are not losing as much weight as you would expect from running alone. Frankly, as an adult you should be ashamed of yourself if you are still buying sweets and fizzy drinks on a weekly basis. Stop it now.

If you are a grown up who writes a book called Run, Fat B!tch, Run, you should be ashamed of yourself.

7. Per The Daily Mail‘s coverage of the blessed tome, “Ruth said her tips are just common sense – move more and eat less junk food – but believes many people need to stop deluding themselves in order to achieve it.” What world is this lunatic living in where people are walking around in a cloud of self delusion every single day? Is there a single fat person on earth who hasn’t heard the myriad messages saying that they aren’t good enough? Who’s in denial here?

8. And finally, Ruth Field really is that “friend” who says she’s just telling you the truth because no one else has the balls to do it, but actually that person is a deluded maniac.

You may be big-boned but you may also be fat. Being big-boned is no excuse for being overweight. You are overweight because you eat too much of the wrong food.

Oh for godssake. There is no wrong food. There are no wrong bodies. If you want to lose weight, that’s great. Go for it, since it’s your body and you can do whatever you want with it. But the same goes for staying fat–being fat is not inherently wrong. I’m going to go pull my hair out and eat something. The only thing wrong here is Ruth Field, who is not an expert, not a truth teller, and just a professional bully. Way to go, Ruth. Fighting the good fight.

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