So I walked into the office today, and one of my co-workers talked about how she often dreams of a “synethesia house” where she can taste colors and see music. “It’s so magical,” she said “I never want to wake up.”


She writes for a different site. We don’t dream about stuff like that.

We assume you don’t dream about that either. At least, not if we have anything to do with it. We try to help you fill up your nightmare box with stuff like human bone jewelry and flylashes. I’ve actually stolen the phrase “nightmare box” from commenter Nolalola26’s statements about them.

So what does TheGloss staff dream about? Electric sheep. Oops, we’ve revealed too much.

No, Lilit has dreams about Scientologists coming to get her. She’s actually written about Scientology a fair bit, and received calls from Scientology reps, and my God, you’ve seen the crazy in Tom Cruise’s eyes, so this is a totally reasonable nightmare. She has it often enough that she doesn’t read about Scientology after a certain time at night.

I have a reocurring dream called “Michael York is coming to poison me.” This is not a reasonable nightmare.

It comes in a lot of different forms. Sometimes I have to do an interview with Michael York, and he offers me tea, and then reveals that the tea was poisoned. He is generally a very pleasant interview subject until that point. Sometimes Michael York and I are dating, and then bam, he forces me to eat a pie full of rat poison. Sometimes he just leaps out from under my bed and stabs me with a poison syringe.

I do not particularly care about the actor Michael York (though I very much liked him in Logan’s Run, and, judging from the fact that I have now read his webpage 200 times to reassure myself that he’s not a killer, he seems like a very nice man). I blame this entirely on an episode of Law and Order: Criminal Intent where he played a charismatic murderer.

I have been known to wake up from those dreams screaming, and it scares people. The thing is, after screaming, I always feel a different emotion. And that emotion is pride. “Good for you, odd little subconscious,” I think to myself, “good for you for being so weird and different and obsessed with Michael York. Now let’s check your entire body for marks to make sure no one has actually stabbed you with a poison syringe.”

There was an interesting article in the New York Times last week about how to help train yourself away from having nightmares, but I sort of love my nightmares. They’re a sign that I have quirky layers to my subconscious. They’re a sign that I have the ability to surprise myself. They’re a sign that I should probably stop watching Law and Order: Criminal Intent after 11:00 at night.

So, all that said, what do you have nightmares about? And would you get rid of them if you could?