We all know that city life has its perks, and it has its drawbacks. For instance…

Perk: 24-hour convenience stores

Drawback: 24-hour convenience stores designated by underground drug lords as retail shops

Along with these perk and drawbacks come a constant stream of neighbors, some of whom we know, but many of whom we don’t. Often, those neighbors begin to get loud, and when they do, I am overwhelmed with the urge to open my window and yell at them to STFU.

It’s a skill I picked up while living in New York, and I’m proud to say that back in the day, I was excellent at it. I got so confident in my anonymous admonishments that I even began to look forward to my next opportunity to exert my opinion for all my neighbors to hear. “She’s really got balls!” I imagined them saying.

But now, not only do I not live in New York anymore, I don’t even live in a crowded part of L.A. I live in a relatively residential neighborhood, one inhabited by dogs and babies, and so usually, the most obnoxious sounds I hear are coming from folks who talk baby talk loudly to their yorkies.

That means that when one of them does something like blast what sounds like a parody of 1990’s rap music at, say, 4:30 in the afternoon, it becomes the noise equivalent of low-flying fighter jets. And while it’s a habit I should have left in the last high-rise I lived in, my knee-jerk response is to boldly open my window and scream at the top of my lungs for them to turn down the music, even though no one else in the world gives a shit, and we all know that would be a ridiculous overreaction.

Every now and then, to calm the beast inside, I’ll let fly with a loud sigh. But the sad fact is that I can’t bring myself to yell angrily at someone who really isn’t doing anything wrong. I can’t even find any crotchety reasons to be upset about it — it’s not a late or an early hour, there are no offensive lyrics, and no one in my house is trying to sleep. So instead I just sit here, trying to access the higher, more forgiving and calm being that I’m sure is lurking somewhere beneath my semi-inappropriate rage.

What about you? What provokes you to yell at your neighbors to shut up?