carmen tisch paintingDo you have that problem where you go into museums, and you’re being completely normal and doing a good impression of a grown-up until you see signs reminding you that you can’t touch the paintings, and then you just want to run around the museum really fast dragging your fingers over everything? The paint would feel so ripply! Okay, now pretend you’re drunk and your butt is itchy, and you’ll be in the same place as Carmen Tisch. And pretend you’re angry. Angry and drunk, with an itchy butt. According to The Daily Mail:

A 36-year-old woman is accused of causing $10,000 worth of damage to a $40 million painting after she punched, scratched and rubbed her behind against it…Carmen Tisch, from Denver, was apparently drunk when she damaged the iconic Clyfford Still oil-on-canvas, called 1957-J no. 2, at the recently opened museum in the artist’s name in Denver.

I think we’re all wondering the same thing: namely, why don’t we go to museums drunk more often? And when we do which $30 million painting do we want to punch? Depuy Editor Ashley Cardiff just wants to punch Damien Hirst the person, and I’d like to punch the people who stand for 20 minutes videotaping the Mona Lisa as though she might go all Purple Rose Of Cairo any second, but then, you know, we’re art lovers.

An on that note, this was the painting she punched:

clyfford painting punched

(It was asking for it).