Gratuitous photo of Ryan Lochte.

As someone who doesn’t have cable and only four channels, it’s difficult to kill time when one of my channels has the Olympics on repeat all the fucking hours of the day. Sure, at 6p and 630p I have the local news then my future boyfriend Brian Williams on the NBC Nightly News, but then back on into Olympics stuff does everything go right after that. It’s exhausting for my eyes and dampening to my spirit.

If you stay up until 430 in the morning because you can’t sleep, do you know how many times you can see the same events over and over again? If it were early on in the games and Ryan Lochte was constantly on my television screen, then that would be fine, but apparently there are other people competing in the Olympics and although he’s the star in my heart (and apparently Jessica’s heart, too), he’s not the star of the Olympics. No, that would be Michael Phelps and all those damn medals.

But finally after two weeks of Olympics, Olympics, Olympics, I will get my NBC back! While I’m sure many people will be hosting Closing Ceremonies parties (you do realize the Spice Girls are performing, right?) I will be planning all the shows I’ll be watching all week once that channel is finally free. I’m thinking some Law & Order: SVU repeats, some Parks and Rec repeats as well, and maybe even some new Jimmy Fallon. It’s going to be a blast and I plan to sit on the couch with buckets of popcorn making up for lost time. I’m so awesome.

Who else is thrilled about this? Who wants to come over and show me how to make popcorn?


Photo: Daniel Ochoa De Olza/AP Photo