No….seriously…why….?

I don’t understand this random use of the ellipsis that seems to be cropping up in every message I get. Ellipses are great. Really. I just don’t understand why people keep inserting them in the places of periods.

As a general rule, I don’t care that much about grammar. While inspired by the whole “you vs. u” debate yesterday, I actually get U instead of “you.” I do. I accept it. It saves time. But this ellipsis thing doesn’t.

It also doesn’t make you sound conversational. It makes you sound like you have an ongoing struggle with OCD that causes you to push the period button three times every time. Even if you were only trying to mimic your speech pattern, do you speak like Tiffany out of Daria? Seriously? Are you constantly trailing off like an aimless simpleton? To quote my new favorite facebook group Stop Misuing the Ellipsis… Or Die!:

CORRECT:
Mom said we could have pie only if we finished our homework but…
(If you were speaking this sentence, your voice would trail off at the end and then maybe you would go sneak a piece of pie. The sentence remains unfinished and the voice trailing off lets everyone know that there’s something else coming.)

INCORRECT:
Try Our New McRib…
(That’s where a period goes. The only time you want an ellipsis there is if there’s more info coming like “Try our new McRib…or don’t” or “Try our new McRib…and get ready to poop!” or “Try our new McRib…and I slept with your mom.”

Come on. Don’t be a butthole. Stop ruining it for everyone. Use the ellipsis correctly…for Jesus.
I’m just sick of reading every sentence as though it’s trailing off into the nether. Do you have any punctuation misuses that irritate you?