That’s right. I admit it. I don’t watch Mad Men. And it’s not because I don’t watch TV. My DVR is filled with all kinds of ridiculousness, from House of Lies to Project Runway All-Stars and even a little Heart Of Dixie. Don’t worry, I got into Homeland, so it’s not all bad.

That being said, I just can’t get myself worked up about Don Draper’s hotness or Christina Hendricks‘ ample bosoms.

Here’s my reasoning. From the very beginning, all I really heard about Mad Men were the awesome clothes. Who knew the 60s were so effin’ fashionable? Oh wait, everyone did. I admit, all the pretty pictures I see floating around the internet are adorable. They make me want to run right out and buy a great silk scarf and a polka-dot pencil skirt.

But I don’t need to watch Mad Men to get some 60s fashion inspiration. Because every designer under the sun is inspired by Mad Men lately. I think Jen gave a balanced and completely unbiased critique of Banana Republic’s Mad Men line.  Prada’s been pretty on to of the retro-inspired looks for a couple seasons now. I suppose I can always wonder over to ModCloth if I’m really feeling the need to be inundated with vintagey goodness.

Seriously, Mad Men might have started the trend, but I don’t need to watch the episodes to get the gist of their style impact.

Then there’s all the pre-feminist movement nostalgia. Oh, the days when women suffered extreme sexual harassment and workplace discrimination. Those were super fun times. How could I not want to re-experience those through the lens of a dramatic re-interpretation?

Well honestly, if I wanted to know what it was like to work with assholes who treated women like they were incapable of dealing in a business world, I’d just take my butt right back to the beer industry where I worked for four years. Believe it or not, it’s easy to be reminded about sexism in the workplace. Find a male-dominated industry and attempt to work in it for a while.

Sure, not everything is as overt or offensive. But now, you get the benefit of people telling you that you just need to “Lighten up,” because it’s not as bad as it once was. (For an amazing piece on sexism in small doses, check out this essay from Katie Cunningham. It’s inspiring.) The gender discrimination is still there, it’s just not as honest and straight-forward as it once was. Our sales manager once told me that we couldn’t hire an attractive young girl to be a sales person because, “The guys would just do everything for her the minute she asked. Everyone else would be picking up her slack, just because she smiles at them.” I haven’t seen an episode of Mad Men, but I would imagine that dialogue like this would fit in rather nicely.

I suppose there’s one more reason that I simply can’t get in to everyone’s favorite show. I’ve held out too long now. I have no idea what’s happened in the past seasons, and I definitely don’t have time to catch back up. The moment has passed me by.

You can’t hop on every train at the same time, and I simply missed the 1960s express. I suppose I’ll just have to wait for the next national phenomenon to sweep through and attempt to get involved there. For now though, I’ll spend this weekend not caring about what happens to Don, Betty and the rest. I’ll be patiently waiting for this AMC cloud to blow over.

(Photo: Ace Showbiz)