Forget American Idol, the springtime music competition I love the most is the Eurovision Song Contest. The annual display of glitter, glamour, and pure camp is the most enjoyable thing that we can’t get on American TV. Luckily, there’s the internet. Here are ten of my favorite entries from this year along with some fashion tips.

Slovakia: The best way to show your support for the environment is to dress like a tree, or, failing that, a sexy woodland creature.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwRxryf6AZk]

Finland: Always match your outfit to your accordion.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1KOoMEi6M0]

Serbia: Military style is always chic. It’s even more chic when combined with neo-milkmaid glam.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fquMjYQLs8]

Ukraine: In order to show that you are a true artiste, you should cover your face with a hood to make the “is this a man or woman or otherworldly being singing this song?” reveal all that more exciting.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbLA0wLI-dE]

Spain: Every outfit looks even better when worn on a boat.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHmQTV_V0Lk]

Greece: In the future, we will all wear hooded black latex outfits to protect us from the sun. But we will leave the fronts open because our abs deserve light.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_F-v8OPJ7lU]

Georgia: If you have trouble walking after years of shoe-related injuries, simply hire two attractive gentlemen to pick up your feet and walk for you.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPCfDqJqQTo]

Armenia: If you are having difficulty choosing between pants and an evening gown, wear both!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErDkipQUsCQ]

Estonia: It is never, ever the wrong time to wear an ascot.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbRlwsLVgjE]

Russia: If you have dressed for snow, but there isn’t snow, come prepared with your own snow!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jx516tQ-2vg]