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Dear plus-size fashion designers,

My name is Kristyn, and I have a few things I need to get off my (well-endowed) chest.

I guess I should start by saying thank you for even bothering to design clothes for me. I know there are a lot of people in your line of work who have no interest in doing that—a fact that blows my mind, considering how willing I am to fork over lots of cash for nice clothing—so I appreciate you for being around. When you think about it, it’s kind of weird that I feel I should be grateful to you just for existing—grateful that there are places I can go to help me perform so basic a task as dressing myself—but the clothing options for big girls are so few and far between that I can’t help but feel lucky to have you. So I’ll say it again: thank you.

However, there are so many problems with the clothing available to fat women that I feel compelled to speak up about them. Fortunately, none of the problems are insurmountable, except maybe the prices you charge (can they go down? Even just a little bit? I know I said I’m willing to spend a lot of money on clothes, and really, I am, but some of you are trying to sell me basic black t-shirts for, like, $60. Even you will agree that’s a little outrageous, no?)

In the interest of clarity and brevity, I’m going to present the problems in list form. I don’t want to appoint myself the voice of all plus-size women, but I feel like most of the items on my list are frustrations shared by the majority of big girls who love fashion. Considering how high our numbers are, I think it might be worth your while to read on.

1. Our thighs rub together—a lot. Can you put some extra-strong material in the thighs of of our jeans?

thighs gif

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Honestly, there is nothing more frustrating than finding a great pair of jeans only to run a hole right through them in a matter of months.

2. We’re not afraid of horizontal stripes. You shouldn’t be either.

stripes rhianna shakira

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Sometimes a big girl just wants to rock a nautical-themed outfit, and she’s going to need a cute navy and white striped shirt to do that.

3. We’re also not afraid of big, bold patterns.

bold prints

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Fat girls are bold fashionistas too, guys.

4. We love trends, but please consider our body shapes before you go haphazardly slapping trendy features onto our clothing. 

tulle prom dress

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Take mesh, for example. I love mesh on my shoulders or upper torso. Across my lower stomach? Not so much.

5. Some of us want to wear bikinis on the beach.

fatkini gif

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For some reason, designers think all fat girls want to wear cover-ups and black one-pieces to the beach. Not so, my friends. Not so.

6. A lot of big girls wear Spanx under their dresses to keep chub rub at bay. Please remember this when you’re designing dresses and skirts for us.

marilyn monroe

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I love a short skirt as much as the next girl, but unless it’s skin tight, it needs to be long enough to hide my Spanx. Anything flouncy requires a bit of extra length, please.

7. We don’t want to wear shirts that say “Sexy Angel”.

oh hell to the no

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We also don’t want to wear shirts that say “Miss Thang”, or “Hottie”, or “Sugar n’ Spice”. Why do so many plus-size labels try to force these on us?

8. We have wide calves and we cannot lie, so we’re going to need boots that can accommodate them.

puss in boots

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Give us an extra inch or two in the calf section, please.

9. Why are the armpits on our sleeveless shirts so massive?

armpits

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Yes, our upper arms are big, but they aren’t the same circumference as our heads. I’m sick of having to wear a bandeau underneath every single sleeveless shirt I own just to make sure I don’t flash a ton of side-bra (or worse yet, side-boob).

10. And finally, a lot of us love to show off our bodies. Please don’t force us all to dress in tents.

rebel wilson

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Here’s to the future of fat girl fashion!

Sincerely,

Kristyn

A fat, frustrated, fashionable (and optimistic) woman