2013 billboard music awards red carpet

So, anyone familiar with The Gloss‘ fashion coverage knows our opinion of music awards show red carpets: they are uniformly the worst.

…The thing about last night’s 2013 Billboard Music Awards? They were a different dimension of the worst. Every look was a jumble of ill-conceived ideas and bad planning.

Get ready for a few glorious pages of horrible to sublimely ridiculous red carpet moments, all in one place. Happy Monday!

  Alyssa Milano poses in the press room during the 2013 Billboard Music Awards

Alyssa Milano. This has about 300 problems with it.

Andy Allo arrives at the 2013 Billboard Music Awards

Andy Allo‘s dress was remarkably ugly.

Audrina Partridge arrives at the 2013 Billboard Music Awards

Audrina Patridge, still fighting for that last shred of relevance, wore a girly leather skirt and a hollow look.

Carly Rae Jepsen arrives at the 2013 Billboard Music Awards

Carly Rae Jepson is dressed perfectly for an evening of Twilight-inspired erotica.

Celine Dion poses in the press room during the 2013 Billboard Music Awards

Celine Dion looked like a pleasure model of C3-P0.

Chloe Grace Moretz arrives at the 2013 Billboard Music Awards

Normally we are very pro-Chloe Moretz; this is too busy.

Emmy Rossum arrives at the 2013 Billboard Music Awards

While we think the polka dots on sheer panels is really dated, we also think Emmy Rossum looks incredibly glamorous and her makeup is perfect.

Too bad she is very much overdressed for the Billboard Music Awards.

Hayden Panettiere arrives at the 2013 Billboard Music Awards

Hayden Panettiere went sophisticated in a frilly black column.

 Jennifer Lopez arrives at the 2013 Billboard Music Awards

Oh, dear. Jennifer Lopez.

Jennifer Morrison arrives at the 2013 Billboard Music Awards

Jennifer Morrison. So it was just a naked night for everyone?

Jenny McCarthy arrives at the Buffalo David Bitton red carpet at the 2013 Billboard Music Awards

Jenny McCarthy. This probably deserves its own Fashion Disasters post.

 Kelly Rowland arrives at the 2013 Billboard Music Awards

Kelly Rowland. Everyone appeared to be wearing very ill-fitting clothes last night!

Ke$ha arrives at the 2013 Billboard Music Awards

Ke$ha got a few things right–great shoes, decent makeup, not too much jewelry–and a few things very wrong–that side slit and, oh, that dreadful fake tan!

Madonna poses in the press room during the 2013 Billboard Music Awards

Madonna must have had a lot of fun at the Met Gala!

Miley Cyrus arrives at the Buffalo David Bitton red carpet at the 2013 Billboard Music Awards

Miley Cyrus was equal parts hilarious and awesome.

Miley Cyrus  arrives at the 2013 Billboard Music Awards

Yup, still confident in that assessment.

Nicki Minaj arrives at the 2013 Billboard Music Awards

Nicki Minaj. Again, not a single dress seemed to fit.

Orianthi arrives at the Buffalo David Bitton red carpet at the 2013 Billboard Music Awards

Orianthi. This is how Chad Kroeger from Nickelback dresses.

Chad Kroeger of Nickleback and Avril Lavigne arrive at the 2013 Billboard Music Awards

WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT. Also, Avril Lavigne looks ridiculous.

Selena Gomez arrives at the 2013 Billboard Music Awards at the MGM Grand Garden Arena

Selena Gomez. This is absurd.

Shania Twain arrives at the 2013 Billboard Music Awards

Shania Twain makes the Best Dressed list by virtue of 1) her dress fitting 2) her dress being a nice color and 3) looking generally clean and together.

Taylor Swift arrives at the 2013 Billboard Music Awards

Taylor Swift. Purple cheese whiz.

Singer Taylor Swift performs onstage during the 2013 Billboard Music Awards

She performed in a unicorn shirt, fyi. Does that mean she’s self-aware?

Tracy Morgan (R) and Megan Wollover arrive at the 2013 Billboard Music Awards at the MGM Grand Garden Arena

Tracy Morgan and Megan Wollover. Baby in there!

 Z LaLa arrives at the 2013 Billboard Music Awards at the MGM Grand Garden Arena

Z LaLa is not Lady Gaga but expects to get some of that sweet, sweet attention between Gaga albums.

Recording artist Nayer arrives at the 2013 Billboard Music Awards

 

Nayer wore a hood for modesty! And brought a dog.

(All photos via Getty)