The Screen Actors Guild Awards (SAG Awards if you’re nasty) are nigh. If you like actors congratulating actors for overcoming a bunch of stuff and being actors, then the SAG Awards are for you. And we, The Gloss, are bringing you the red carpet looks in real time(-ish).

As we did with the Golden Globes, we’ll be updating this post with all the pretty, pretty dresses (and hopefully lots of ugly ones) over the next couple hours.

And where to begin but with…

Nancy O’Dell will outlive us all. She’ll be doing red carpet coverage in 3024, as a head in a jar.

The same fate will follow for Giuliana Rancic, only there will be another dozen reality shows in it for her, too. We’re not crazy about the dress but it’s a nice color on her, btw.

For someone who hates on peoples’ outfits professionally, Kelly Osbourne sure got duped into an ugly dress.

Shaun Robinson‘s dress, ultimately, doesn’t work. But it does do something slightly more interesting than a lot of the other dresses will.

Wikipedia tells me Jaimie Alexander is best known for being on Kyle XY. We find her dress extremely banal.

This is Suzanne Goin, she’s a famous-LA based chef and we’re guessing she cooked for the ceremony (unless she got lost with a handful of pork tenderloin and/or is so high right now). She’s exempt from red carpet criticism because she’s wearing a damn apron, but we bring it up because we got her book a few years ago and it’s really great.

[Ed. Note: Ugh… these photos sure are coming in slow.]

Teyonah Parris‘ purple thing is 100% pure Wisconsin cheddar.

Jayma Mays‘ dress is unfortunate; that horizontal line widens her lower half while the neckline narrows her shoulders. Could be very pretty if tweaked, though, yes? We like the appliqués along the hem.

We are none too pleased with the Red Carpet Pompadour that’s been everywhere lately and we’re also no fan of the statement necklace. That said, Busy Philipps looks fantastic; plus, she’s a champ for even bothering, what with being about to pop and all.

Eddie Redmayne has one expression: smolder.

Katrina Bowden brought the cheese too. Also, are studs on evening gowns going to be this year’s most annoying red carpet trend?

Guess it’s better than studded peplums.

Morena Baccarin dressed as a goddamn peacock. Also, it’s an unusual improvement over her pre-party look.

Sally Field wore purple. Lot of frilly details tonight.

Hilaria Thomas has established herself as a reliably tasteful red carpet sidekick to husband Alec Baldwin. The red is more flashy than usual for her.

We’re 50/50 on Jenna Fischer‘s abstract sparkly dress.

Okay, we’ll bite: we think Michelle Dockery‘s black column is super sexy without being over-the-top.

Idina Menzel in red(s). It’s like they didn’t know what to do with a very unremarkable dress, so they just tossed in some different color panels.

Kerry Washington, we both know you can do better. We all know it.

We try to avoid including people under 18 in red carpet coverage, but 1) Kiernan Shipka looks less like a kid every time we see her and 2) this is so cute.

Noooooo! A lackluster showing from the usually terrifically gorgeous and stylish Jessica Chastain.

Elisabeth Moss opted for something fresher and younger than a lot of other attendees but she looks pretty great! Also, her beauty team deserves a high five.

Amy Poehler‘s recent hard turn into bombshell territory sure has been fun.

Julia Stiles unexpectedly went Old Hollywood. We appreciate that she kept jewelry so minimal.

Naomi Watts did much the same thing, minimal accessories and all. She sells it a little more naturally.

Who’d have guessed Jennifer Lawrence was seriously ill with pneumonia? Also, could she wear dark blue more often? Please?

People love Nina Dobrev. We don’t because she looks like she’s trying so goddamn hard all the time. But we do appreciate that everyone else is in black or jewel tones, so this is, at least, a real stand out color.

And then Freida Pinto had to go and wear something pinker.

Oh, Julianna Margulies.

 Tina Fey looks foxy.

Mayim Bialik‘s dress is really… really blue.

Stylists of Hollywood: please stop topping everything off with a statement necklace when you don’t know what else to do.

…Vincent Kartheiser and Alexis Bledel.

This feels a little too Jenna Maroney for us, Jane Krakowski.

Into it! Also, in the hair and beauty department, Marion Cotillard has seldom looked better.

If Amanda Seyfried‘s look had to fight Jennifer Lawrence’s, I think Lawrence’s would win.

A striking, unusual look from January Jones, absolutely ruined by that ridiculous pompadour.

Rose Byrne‘s dress is wearing her in a big way.

Julie Bowen wore a leather dress. This red carpet is all over the place.

JULIANNE MOORE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Dislike the sheerness of Jenna Elfman‘s dress, do like the cut. And her shoes.

Nicole Kidman also opted for sheer.

Lot of underwear on the red carpet tonight. Underwear and jewel tones.

We’re not fond of gold dresses and we never will be, but how beautiful does Jennifer Garner look? That hair! That skin!

Weird hair has also dominated the SAG Awards red carpet. Here, on Mad Men‘s Jessica Pare.

Kaley Cuoco‘s hair might be the worst of the night, though.

SEE?

Ellie Kemper‘s ethereal mint dress is tarnished by that silly hip sash.

Jordin Sparks adds another to the dark blue dress pile.

Anne Hathaway looks nice.

Sigourney Weaver opts for black like fifty percent of the night’s attendees.

God, Lea Michele. Just stop.

Unsure about Claire Danes‘ graphic one-shouldered gown. Weirdly, though, we think she’s making a pretty strong case for goth lips.

Viola Davis wears one of the night’s most striking colors, in a Grecian-style gown and… probably the wrong shade of foundation.

All the stylists got together and agreed; a collusion of jeweltones. Here, on Sarah Hyland.

Sofia Vergara wears only one dress in different colors–but it’s because she looks so hot in it.

Carmen Electra. Why not?

Haven’t seen Clea DuVall in a while! She looks pretty–she is also styled a lot like Zooey Deschanel?

Jane Lynch, in something a little sexier than we’re used to seeing on her.

(All photos via Getty)