Agree? Disagree? TheGloss editor Lilit Marcus, a lover of vintage dresses, responds.

Women who only wear vintage dresses are smug. Meanwhile, women who own 3,000 designer vintage dresses are dolphins-want-to-punch-them-in-the-face smug. Charlotte Smith, who owns said dresses and would like you to know that she and the Maharajah of Jaipur are BFF 4-Ever, explains that “the women at the Met ball looked like complete tarts!” in their newfangled dresses. She concedes that Sarah Jessica Parker looked okay, but only because she was wearing vintage Halston from the 1970’s.

First of all, Katy Perry did not look like a tart. She looked like a human lightbulb-rainbow, and it was magical. Second of all, Anna Wintour has never, ever looked like a tart, and never will. Charlotte Smith, you are a bag full of lies. But it’s not surprising. Because vintage-snobs tell all kinds of lies. Like these!:

Oh, everything was just CUT so much better then!

Yeah, and in the old days no one disrespected their elders and teabaggers and socialists played together in the soda-shop where everyone was skinny. When people talk about magnificent cut, they’re talking about things hand stitched by Coco Chanel. They’re not talking about the 50 year old dress with the Gimbel’s tag and the sweat stains you just bought. That dress is cut like shit and it smells like mothballs.

None of this modern day clothing fits me!

What’s it like being a midget with cone shaped breasts? Awesome?

You just don’t see the same kind of high quality patterns and fabric in modern day clothing!

Oh, puce and red paisley velour isn’t around in Topshop? Try to figure out why.

I like the way every piece of clothing has its own unique story!

Oh. Please. These are not your grandmother’s jewels bequeathed to you on her deathbed with a beautiful handwritten note. Sure, every piece of vintage clothing has a story. A story you don’t know. Because you just got that dress when you were killing time before going over to ironic-bowling-night or whatever the vintage-snob-hipsters are doing these days.

Only wearing vintage makes me more unique because nobody else will be wearing the same thing!

For the love of God, develop a personality. And, on the rare occasions it happens, an ability to high five a girl who is wearing the same dress as you.