Did you see Gizmodo’s post yesterday about clothes to decompose in? Yes, CLOTHES TO DECOMPOSE IN. Designer Pia Interlandi has made a line of garments specifically designed to be worn by the dead. No, not in a creepy, synthetic Halloween costume way, but soft, white robes made of natural fibers that are ideal garments for dead and decomposing bodies.
In an profile via Fast Company, Interlandi explains why she’s designing clothes for dead people, especially clothes made out of silk and cotton:
Fibers and fabrics are chosen for practical qualities like longevity and expense. In the Western world, this ends up meaning that a lot of what we bury our dead in is synthetic. These materials can outlast a corpse, and even worse, actually prevent a body from decomposing naturally. “Dress a corpse in nylon tights or stockings, and they will constrict around the waist and act as pressure tights around the legs,” says Interlandi. “The result is that when deterioration sets in the bacteria can’t easily get down the legs or around the torso, resulting in the legs mummifying while the upper body rots normally.”
Uh, ew. I can’t say I’ve ever given much thought to what people wear when they’re decomposing, but Interlandi makes the clothing she designs sound totally necessary with the above description. And while I think her designs are pretty cool (and fairly affordable, at around $80 a pop), I have my own ideas about clothes I’d like to die in and/or wear in my coffin. Her voluminous white robes are very, you know, Zen and whatnot, but I’m sure my dead self is going to need a good pair of cowboy boots and some big old jewelry. Here are the five outfits I have in my closet, as of today, that I’d be happy to die and/or be buried in:
1. An ampersand sweater with polka dot jeans and polka dot shoes:
Because I’m a writer and I love ampersands and I love polka dots and what’s better than polka dot pants but polka dot pants with polka dot shoes? Nothing, that’s the answer. I feel like polka dots would keep my eternal soul happy!
2. Navy maxi-dress (with a lace back!) and huge jade necklace:
This dress feels like a nightgown and I don’t need to wear a bra with it. Perfect coffin apparel! I love this gigantic jade necklace I got in Guatemala aaaaaand bonus! According to this random crystal website, the stone of jade ensures a peaceful death.
3. LBD and cowboy boots:
This is probably the most quintessentially “me” outfit of anything else here. A sundress, a fun belt and cowboy boots is my go-to uniform for 3/4ths of the year. I’d feel happy knowing I was wearing a super Carrie outfit in my grave.
4. 1983 Loretta Lynn World Tour t-shirt
Because this is basically my most prized possession.
5. Vintage 70s maxidress:
If you had to pick an outfit from your current closet to die in or be buried in this very day, what would it be and why?