While you should never listen when a hater tries to cut you down for rocking a certain look, you don’t have to like everything. Sometimes certain trends that you dislike are going to get popular anyway… even if they’re objectively hideous. Here are 8 ugly fashions from 2013 that I just can’t wrap my mind around.
1. Ponchos. I can’t believe these were ever a thing, and I can’t believe they became a thing again. They were all over Forever 21 this year. And all over my shit list.
2. Peplums. It’s kind of a requirement that to write for The Gloss, you have to be peplum intolerant. Unfortunately, they were a big part of NYFW, so we’ll probably have to deal with them for another year. (Even CARA DELEVINGNE looks weird in them!)
3. Mustaches. Not on people’s faces; those can stay. I’m talking about the extremely overdone and confusing trend of putting mustache graphics on things to make them quirky. It’s like Portlandia‘s “Put A Bird On It!” sketch came to life.
4. Nerd glasses. While we’re talking about dumb symbols that have been seriously overused on costume jewelry and t-shirts, allow me to express my hatred for oversized black glasses. I didn’t think they were horrible until they became utterly inescapable.
5. Faux Leather. This trend isn’t always ugly, but it’s… usually ugly. I’d be a lot more forgiving if it didn’t usually look cheap.
6. Whatever this weird (polyvinyl chloride?) material is. It looks like a cheap raincoat. It contributed to Selena Gomez looking flat-out crazy and it contributes to my headaches.
7. Asymmetrical high-low skirts. These just make you look like the little bird from Seussical The Musical who only has one feather on her tail. Eve said it best: “This is a dress with a tail for nine thousand dollars.”
8. Jean-Sweats. Okay, maybe these aren’t so much a “trend” as they are “something Miley Cyrus wore once,” but I remember Joan Rivers saying something positive about them on Fashion Police and I just can’t let that slide.
Seriously, what will our grandchildren think if they ever find these pictures? These trends are just not going to stand the test of time.