Sequins.  What would the world be without them?  Before you answer, wouldn’t you like to know a little more about how useful they are?  Read on…

Sequins are almost infinitely useful.

To elaborate on that assertion, here’s some indisputable proof:

1. Sequins can be used to confuse your enemies:

Sequins are the visual equivalent of pepper spray.  Based on a study using gerbils, sequins are 89% effective at preventing attacks when suddenly introduced into a potential attacker’s environment (in this case, by throwing.)

One of the most prominent traits of sequins is their ability to reflect light in thousands of directions.  This can be confusing and disorienting to someone who was carrying on with a violent crime, not expecting to be blindsided by millions of sparkles.  When they are suddenly confronted by your shimmering shield of radiance, they won’t know what to do.

If you find yourself in a dangerous situation, it helps to move the sequined object in unpredictable arcs and, if possible, spin it in circles. This not only increases the amount of sparkly-ness the attacker is exposed to, but, like a matador’s cape, it also acts to throw off the attacker’s perception of your actual location in space.

2.  Sequins can be used as camouflage
You’re probably thinking “sequins are the exact opposite of camouflage,” but you’re wrong.  What if you are in a landscape made of sequins?
I bet you didn’t think of that.  And that’s exactly the issue here.  No one ever expects to find themselves in a landscape made entirely out of sequins, so if that ever happens, they will be caught off guard and be totally vulnerable.  Though the likelihood of this scenario ever occurring is small, it never hurts to be prepared.
3.  Sequins provide a very slight amount of protection from bullets
Did you know that sequins are more resistant to bullets than fabric alone?  They are.  They aren’t exactly bulletproof, but they can very slightly reduce the speed of a bullet entering your body.  Take that, bullets.
4.  You can eat sequins
The metabolic usefulness of sequins has yet to be studied, but if babies and dogs are any indication, they can be eaten.