If you are a hipster, your lifestyle comes with some unique challenges during the summer; namely, how to not die from hyperthermia under all those layers and copious ironic accessories.

As a hipster, you can’t just abandon your scraggly facial hair, hoodie, and vintage scarf and jacket in the name of homeostasis.  No.  You’re better than homeostasis.  When you feel hot, that’s just your hypothalamus trying to keep you down.  It’s oppression is what it is.  What you need to do is send a big “fuck you” to your hypothalamus by continuing to wear cold-weather clothing in the middle of July.

But you might be asking yourself “How can I express my disdain for my hypothalamus while still staying alive?”  That’s a good question, hipsters.  And luckily for you, I’ve come up with some answers!

Good luck, hipsters!  Have a bitchin’ summer!