Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore are totally that couple: tons of PDA, obsessive bragging about their relationship, and overuse of social media to continue bragging about their relationship. Now they’ve put their annoying relationship into jewelry form by “designing” some baubles for Jack Vartanian. The necklaces, which are basically just chains with miniature handcuffs on them, range in price from $710 (18K yellow gold) to $2,760 (18K yellow gold with diamonds and slightly bigger cuffs). Considering that Vartanian’s regular collection includes items like a $9,970 malachite cuff, the Ashton and Demi pieces seem downright affordable, and half the price goes to their charitable foundation. The fact that some of the cash goes to charity is quite nice of them, but the genericness of these necklaces, combined with the pseudo-sexual “tee hee” references that the couple loves so much (see also: all those bikini photos on Twitter) doesn’t really inspire me to wear it on my neck, much less drop two grand in the process. If you feel otherwise, you have until Valentine’s Day (of course) to purchase.