EE British Academy Film Awards 2014 - Red Carpet Arrivals

While some of last night’s BAFTA Awards red carpet looks were stunning beyond just being pretty, there was a good deal of deeply upsetting outfits to keep things nicely in balance. Weird skirts, awkward color blocking, and one very familiar Givenchy rounded out the night, giving us things to gawk at and gag over.

EE British Academy Film Awards 2014 - Red Carpet Arrivals

I want to like Gillian Anderson‘s vintage Balmain number, but it’s just desperately boring.

EE British Academy Film Awards 2014 - Red Carpet Arrivals

I think I would like Alicia Vikander‘s Chanel thing if everything about it were completely different.

EE British Academy Film Awards 2014 - Red Carpet ArrivalsSo remember that one time really trotted out her breasts at Paris Fashion week? She was wearing the same Givenchy dress that Imogen Poots has on here, and like my colleague Liz said, this “kinda proves that dress doesn’t work on anyone.”

EE British Academy Film Awards 2014 - Red Carpet Arrivals

Remember like thirty minutes ago when I said I will never not like a lady in a suit? I was lying, because I don’t respect you and think you deserve to be cuckolded. Perhaps a more fashion forward gal would like Ruth Wilson‘s Antonio Berardi number, but it was way too costumey for my simple tastes.

EE British Academy Film Awards 2014 - Red Carpet Arrivals

Now before everyone jumps down my throat for not liking Lea Seydoux‘s Miu Miu gown, just decide not to do that and be cool. I’m on board with everything here except for the neckline, which needs to commit to being low cut or more modest, instead of sitting on the boob-fence.

Next up: our pick for worst dressed of the evening, who handily blew everyone out of the water.

EE British Academy Film Awards 2014 - Red Carpet Arrivals

What exactly happened to Lily Allen‘s breasts in this Vivienne Westwood fiasco?

EE British Academy Film Awards 2014 - Red Carpet Arrivals Look, I know I have a habit of likening red carpet dresses to vulvas, but, come on. I cannot be the only person seeing some labia here.

EE British Academy Film Awards 2014 - Red Carpet Arrivals Oh, my. God bless you, Lily Allen.

Photos: Getty Images