Are you ready for men’s pantie stocking? Because men’s pantie stocking is ready for you.

Constructed from the finest of nylon, this garment is guaranteed to turn even the smallest of penises into a horrifying, wrinkly, elephant trunk-like thing. It also comes with a cryptic poem which, when rearranged, may or may not spell out doomsday predictions:

Girl who puts out atmosphere

different from always.

A weak boy to such a gap is enchanted.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m not sure what purpose these could possibly serve. Pantyhose is a useless garment that not even women like to wear–they’re too hot in the summer time, but not thick enough to keep you warm in the winter. As for cross-dressers, I am told that they wear special underwear to avoid any awkward crotch bulges, a goal which men’s pantie stocking would seem to work against. Maybe it’s for lazy cross-dressers with poor circulation who care more about keeping their dicks warm than avoiding bulges?

Or maybe, just maybe, men’s pantie stocking was an attempt on the part of the late USSR to keep their cross-dressing spies from getting too cold out in the field. It would explain the broken English and willingness to abandon certain basic cross-dressing concepts.

(Via World Of Wonder)