While watching the Emmys last night, The Gloss staff noticed a startling new micro trend: hiding your womanly breasts at all costs. While we saw some bangin’ curves from the likes of Christina Hendricks and Tina Fey, some high profile ladies opted to hide their breasts behind oddly constructed bodices and rounds and rounds of medical tape.

Audi Arrivals At The 65th Emmy Awards

65th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards - Arrivals

Fey and Hendricks play up their assets without hiding anything, but that was hardly the case for everyone last night. Come with me and let’s objectify some boobs.

65th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards - ArrivalsCobie Smulders breasts practically go inward here, because they’re stuffed into that little boob-shelf which produces the optical illusion of concavity. Why?

65th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards - ArrivalsJanuary Jones has a fantastic body, so why is she wrapping it up in that corset thing? When I think about her boobs being smashed into her body like that, I feel (A) like a huge creep and (B) totally sympathetic to what must be a hugely painful situation!

65th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards - ArrivalsThere’s a lot that can be said about Amanda Peet‘s goth-pixie-goes-ice-skating dress, but the top section just flattens her into a block of sadness.

65th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards - ArrivalsCarrie Preston‘s flat, straight-across strapless number looks like a prison from which flattened breasts are screaming to get out.

65th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards - ArrivalsZosia Mamet‘s set look like they’ve been sausaged into that little black strip. Why, Zosia?

I’m not knocking women with small breasts (thank you boob-god for giving me the strength not to say knockers)—just look at how great smaller-busted Claire Danes (or the afore-mentioned Tina Fey) looks!

65th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards - Arrivals

And this certainly has nothing to do with people who bind their breasts to explore/change gender. But these are women with racks who used packing tape to shutter them inward until they looked like surfboards for what I think is a sinister reason: to look thinner and more waif-like. Ladies—aren’t we past the point of hiding our parts?

Do you need to look at some Emmy boobs? QUICK: here’s Sofia Vergara.

65th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards - Arrivals

Photos: Getty Images.