It’s real, y’all. Guy bracelets (gaycelets? macelets?) are coming, and there’s nothing you can do to stop them.

According to The New York Times, “scruffy young creatives” are starting to wear bracelets as a means of signifying their rugged, manly individuality. Because nothing says “I’m a loner, Dottie, a rebel” like something nine-year-olds learn how to make at summer camp.

The article is littered with enough money quotes to make it worth depleting your monthly allotment of free NYT reads, but in case you don’t believe me, here are a few:

“The look sends a message of self-assurance that is unmistakably downtown, but also range-hand macho.”

So macho, those mancelets!

“I’d rather be a cowboy than Gordon Gekko.”

Cowboys love bracelets.

“Each New York style tribe has its own man-acle”

Get it, “man-acle”? These guys are “slaves” to fashion.

“I think a lot of guys are nervous to try new styles, for fear of looking silly…Maybe the leather cuff is a way of playing around with my image that is still kind of safe.”

A little experimentation with looking silly never hurt anyone. Or did it…?

Kirk Bray, a founder of Billykirk, a men’s accessories line that sells leather cuffs at fashionable outlets like Opening Ceremony, said that men often “start off with a few, and eventually they’re filling up a good four or five inches on each wrist.”

First you experiment with a fun leather cuff, and before you know if you’re tumbling down that slippery slope to full-on bracelet addiction. Why, I even heard tell of one guy who had his arms surgically extended just so he could fit a few more on. Sad, really.

I guess what I’m saying is: shop responsibly, fellows. Accessory addiction is no laughing matter.