"Maybe if you could get 'Jesus died for somebody's sins but not mine' in rhinestones on your tank, that would be really cute."

Yesterday The Hairpin posted this video and I have finally recovered. The clip is hosted by Wendi Braswell, who I believe is a fashion and style or beauty or something expert because she claims to be, in spite of everything she says. Basically, if you want to dress punk (and are a girl) you’ll need a black tank (?), some ruffles and other stuff, she isn’t really sure. Here is her thesis statement:

“If you’re trying to be a little modern and off-edge, [punk is] anything that normal people wouldn’t do.”

…Which translates to:

“You’re not going to do bright colors, you’re not going to do pastels, you’re not going to do preppy, you’re not going to do plaids… unless you take it a little edgy, take it to the edgy level. So, in general, punk tends to be black, dark and dirty.”

Perhaps because she uses air quotes when she says punk, she is referring to a kind of hilarious imaginary offshoot of the subculture that features hideous chunky necklaces and ripped Jordache jeans? I propose making a response video entitled, “How To Use Words As If They Have Meaning,” but I digress. If you want to know “how to dress punk” (for girls), the easiest way is simply to not be the kind of person who watches this video.