Remember that scary online glasses salesman who was profiled in the New York Times last year? The one who sent people fake designer glasses, and then when they bitched, said he knew where they lived and threatened to rape and murder them? And who justified all this by saying it was good for business, yet never managed to move out of Sheepshead Bay?

If you read that article and thought, as many did, “this guy is going to jail soon,” you were correct; Vitaly Borker of pleaded guilty on Thursday to two counts of sending threatening communications, one count of mail fraud, and one count of wire fraud. I guess once you’ve bragged to the Times about all the shitty things you’re doing, there’s really nowhere left to hide. At least he’s sorry, maybe?

Via the Times:

“’I was answering personally about 100 e-mails a day and lost control of what I was saying at times,’ he said, reading a prepared statement before Judge Richard J. Sullivan in Federal District Court in Manhattan. He closed by saying, ‘I want to apologize to everyone I hurt in connection with my actions, especially those people I threatened.’”

Now, I can see losing control of what you’re saying when you’re in a verbal argument with someone, but over email? Email is a good way to communicate precisely because you can craft what you’re saying before you send it off. If I had a dollar for every heated email I’d composed, saved as a draft, and eventually deleted, I’d be depressingly rich. Homeboy knew exactly what he was doing.

Borker’s sentencing is scheduled for December 16, and he’s expected to get five to six and a half years in prison. Take note, all you would be online glasses sales sharks: it’s not fucking worth it. Just go sell drugs or something. But if you’d like to buy some expensive fake glasses from him before it’s too late, the site is still up, and promising guaranteed Christmas delivery: