Can we talk about this without sounding like a Cathy Cartoon?

I think my discomfort with the swimsuit shopping process has nothing to do with my weight or body issues, it’s just, I think swisuits are weird now. They are? Are they? I’m worried this might just be. After a recent swimsuit buying expedition, I am checking in with you:

Wait, why are the one piece ones slit up past your hipbones? Does this look good on you? Does this look good on anyone?

Are the kids at American Apparel just mean?

Are bikini bottoms not supposed to cover your entire butt? Are they deliberately supposed to leave it partly hanging out?

Are the side parts of your ass somehow acceptable to show off? Is this a thing?

I don’t think this is a thing.

Do sales clerks get really surprised when you ask to see their one pieces?

Does everyone not realize that one pieces are cool, now?

Are one pieces okay?

Try not to think about how men hate them. That is not a thing you think about.

Is this cool? It’s from J Crew, I kind of like it:

Okay wait, what about this one, better? It’s also from J Crew! It’s two pieces! But it still covers my ass without letting the sides just hang out in the breeze!


Pamela Anderson via