When I got an invitation a couple weeks ago from a friend who’s having a Madonna themed birthday party, I initially cringed. Madonna? Really? What the hell am I supposed to wear? While these thoughts went through my head, by the time I reached the end of the invitation the answer was clear:  all guests are to dress as their favorite Madonna.

Considering she’s been around for coming up on 30 years and has been kind enough to reinvent herself pretty much every six months or so, there are actually many Madonna styles from which to choose. I first considered Madonna in a wedding dress rolling around on the stage at the 1984 MTV Video Music Awards when she practically fucked the stage while the audience and media gasped. My reason for this first choice was because any reason to buy a wedding dress sounds like a good idea to me.

I then tossed around the Jean Paul Gaultier cone-bustier era of the Blond Ambition World Tour, next I contemplated the modest housewife-looking phase as so beautifully portrayed in the video for “Live to Tell,” and lastly, thanks to something called cable, I found the Madonna that I will be dressing up as for this upcoming birthday. How it is that I could have forgotten the brilliance and the gorgeous 1980’s apparel of Desperately Seeking Susan is obviously both sinful and embarrassing. How badly did I want to be Susan, Madonna’s character in that movie when I first saw it? A lot. Thanks to that 1985 film, I fell in love with Aiden Quinn, I still flip the hand-driers in the bathroom upward like she did in the movie, and to this day I firmly believe “Get Into the Groove” is one of the greatest songs in the history of the world. Wow. I guess I really am an 80’s kid no matter how hard I try to fight it.

So since it’s Saturday and the weekends were made for compiling lists, let’s go over all the things I’ll be buying this week to perfect my look for the party. I already have my red lipstick, I just need everything else. If I’m missing something, throw in your two cents! As you know, we really want you to get on the comment wagon more, ladies!