This morning, WWD brought word that Barneys will collaborate with Disney on the retailer’s holiday campaign, to be called “Electric Holiday” (a play on the Magic Kingdom’s famed Electric Parade). When unveiled in November, Barneys’ Madison Avenue flagship will feature a “three-dimensional electric light show; a moving art short film in the window displays that will turn Disney’s most favorite heroes into runway supermodels and fashion regulars into Disney types, and an original score by Oscar-winning composer Michael Giacchino.”

Hold on, now… beloved Disney characters as runway models? Why? Because fuck your childhood. They’re putting Minnie, Daisy, Goofy and the rest on restrictive diets, lengthening their legs and giving them coquettish expressions. Barneys creative director Dennis Freedman explains:

“What is really important in the film is getting all of the details of how that world works. That was the real challenge and involved a whole education process. The animator and I sat next to each other and went over every detail of the clothes — how they’re made, what material, how they would move — to get them as accurate as we possibly could.”

Wait for it…

“When we got to the moment when all Disney characters walk on the runway, there was a discussion. The standard Minnie Mouse will not look so good in a Lanvin dress. There was a real moment of silence, because these characters don’t change. I said, ‘If we’re going to make this work, we have to have a 5-foot-11 Minnie,’ and they agreed. When you see Goofy, Minnie and Mickey, they are runway models.”

Freedman even took a model to meetings in Glendale, Calif., “to walk the hallways of Disney, and they studied how she walked. I said, ‘You can’t make the film without understanding every detail of how she walks, what her facial expression is, and how she stares ahead.’”

In other words, Minnie Mouse, cartoon character beloved by millions of children, was too fat for Lanvin. So, they did what they had to do: take something nice and limit it to celery, coke and suppositories for a few weeks. Only then could Minnie become the face of Barneys. Can’t an innocent, unsexy cartoon mouse just stay that way?

Since the internet loves a good “beloved childhood thing as [x]” trope, we wonder…

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While we’re at it, here’s Daisy in Dolce & Gabbana:

And Goofy in Balmain: