Okay, the upside is that you’re having safe sex so you’re not going to give birth to one of Jon Gosselin’s babies. The downside is that you are are having sex with a man wearing an Ed Hardy condom that says “Monsieur Bond”  with an inexplicable tilde stuck in there. And, I’m going out on a limb here, but I’m pretty sure you’re on the Jersey Shore. And your partner has herpes which is going to make your vajazzling look AWFUL. Just saying.

Want some lubricant to go with that? Yeah, Ed Hardy does that, too.