At first, I saw Evian’s new shirt on the female model and thought “oh, I get it, she’s pregnant. So she’s drinking Evian, not booze. That’s responsible of her. Too bad her baby doesn’t have a head. Maybe, in addition to giving up alcohol, she should have laid of the thalidomide.”

Then I saw the man’s shirt, and I realized “hey, babies don’t grow inside men.” Which is when I saw that this wasn’t about being responsible in your drug addled, 1950’s pregnancy at all. This was about eating babies. And then washing down their delicious veal-y baby bits with a refreshing Evian.

I mean, I guess the alternative would be “there is a child inside all of us” but that is both lame an impossible, because the child inside us only wants Oreo cookie milkshakes, not Evian.

In conclusion, Evian, you people are sick.