What’s the most you could envision someone charging for a t-shirt? $50? $100? $1,000 for a really, really nice one made by a pointlessly expensive luxury brand? Take that last number and multiply it by about ninety, and you will arrive at the answer to that question.

Today on The Awl, Choire Sicha claims to have found the most expensive t-shirt in all of New York City, and I dare say I believe him. It’s just like a regular black t-shirt, only it’s made of 100% pure crocodile. That’s right: for a mere $91,500, you, too, can wear leathery strips of flesh that have been hand ripped from a toothy swamp creature and lovingly sewn into a t-shirt. I can’t get a photo of it from any of the image services we use, but here is a picture of it on the runway. Nature’s bravest carnivore is no match for your money!

At this price, I can only assume this is not just any t-shirt, but a magical t-shirt which confers upon you the following benefits and powers:

-Swim faster than nature’s perfect predator

-Fellatio or cunnilingus on demand

-Scare small swamp mammals even more than you normally would

-Win every game of Crocodile Dentist

-Get real sinewy

-Survive on a slimming diet of muskrats and waterfowl

-Dude reptiles want to be you; lady reptiles want to be with you

-You can fly! No really, try it.

-Can be repurposed to make ten pairs of $9,000 crocodile boots or ninety $1,000 crocodile purses.

If any of this appeals to you (and it should) and you’ve got some money to burn, it’s available at the Hermès men’s store on Madison Avenue. Hooray for fashion.

(Via The Awl)