Oh, Ashlee.

I remember the days when you had your own reality show and dated Wilmer Valderrama. I remember how you coyly teased the press about your alleged nose job and then had a baby with the guy from Fall Out Boy who shows his penis on the internet. And you, like your sister, are now famous for… I’m not sure.

A lot of people aren’t really famous for anything, so I can’t hold that against you. But the last dozen or so items I’ve read about you hinged on Eating Disorder Concerns. It seems then, that a lot of your sartorial choices are motivated by stirring up these stories for press.

I can’t hold that against you either, although you are distractingly waifish here.

What I can hold against you is everything else.

Your sparkly shiny minidress looks dated, like something on the sales rack at Express from seasons ago. Attached (?) to the collar of the dress is some kind of lace/mesh ascot. Or bib?

And then, as if your shiny dress weren’t blinding enough, you added some enormous fuck-off drop-down earrings, ill-matched in gold and red.

If you’re going to rock a loud micro-mini, I suggest pairing down the accessories, namely: avoiding gold and, uh, giant things. Your purse is also very shiny. Everything is bright, glittery, over-the-top and the event you’re attending isn’t even in Vegas.

[Image via People]