Let’s get this out of the way. Here’s the demure version:

"I'll have a macro-bento and, like, a cup of Pu-erh!"

Dancing With The Stars person of interest Lacey Schwimmer was hosting an event at the  Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas last week and apparently she “performed.” Does that mean she danced? Or lip synced to something? I don’t know. Anyway, the girl loves her spectacularly hideous rib-revealing bra-tops (this isn’t her first rodeo) but this is over-the-top, even as a performance outfit. To go with her Sexy Mrs. Satan Clause bra-top, she’s added American Apparel workout leggings from 5 years ago and some kind of confusing suede Doc Moccasins. I’ve lost the gift of sight forever, but here are some photos for you to look at.

Photo credit: Judy Eddy/WENN.com