Russell Crowe, here is a picture of you and Snoop Dogg. You are wearing a hoodie and Adidas track pants. You are also flashing Justin Bieber’s sign of choice. You are graying and a bit pudgy. Why are you getting your picture taken outside of the Late Show studios dressed like this? This look would work on, say, the Beastie Boys, but it does not work on you.

Thus, I have prepared a list of “Things That Are As Out of Touch as Russell Crowe in the Attached Photo.”

-Grandparents trying to breakdance at weddings
-People referring to Apple computers as “MacIntoshes”
-People who want to go to Marquee
-Saying “the” calculus or “infinitesimal” calculus as opposed to just calculus (HA! IN YOUR FACE, LEIBNIZ)
-Saying “your mom,” “talk to the hand,” or “in your face”
-Yuppies playing Grizzly Bear at dinner parties
-New Coke
-Parents saying “bling”
-Upper middle class white teenagers saying “off the chain” and/or “hook”
-Applebee’s Restaurant. Get with the times, Applebee’s!
-People referring to the “interwebs”/”intertubes”
-MacDonald’s 2005 “I’d Hit It” campaign
-The Grammys

[Photo via People]