Rihanna Oh My God

I’m very sorry if you’re currently wearing shoes, have recently worn shoes, or plan to do so ever again. Because this new set of sneaker ads, photographed by Joseph Ford for the latest issue of Sneakers Magazine, features the aforementioned sneakers plus a complimentary set of nightmarish creatures. Who even thought that that’s what all of our silly old shoe ads had been missing all of this time? Well, Joseph, for one. And sadists, for two.

The ads are incredibly photographed and are certainly attention-grabbing, so fans of well-executed ads should rejoice. By that same token, I feel obliged to warn you that, if insects or the like creep you out incredibly, maybe you should stop scrolling riiiight about now.

For the rest of us misguided souls who didn’t escape when we had the chance, let’s all suffer together. Like with this first one, which says, “I’m sorry, were you considering wearing your fab blue Nikes on your jog today? HAHAH good luck.”

Sneakers With Snakes In Box

(Photo: Joseph Ford/Sneakers Magazine)

And this one, which is by far the best reminder that, along with being your feet-homes, your shoes are also home to many a spider. You’re welcome!Sneakers With Spiders

(Photo: Joseph Ford/Sneakers Magazine)

And finally, freaking scorpions. Just give up on shoes altogether.

Sneakers With Scorpions

(Photo: Joseph Ford/Sneakers Magazine)

It’s true that I’m quite easily frightened, startled, and skeeved out. But holy crap, I think that even if I weren’t such a sad little whimp, these photos would give me major creeps. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go scrub my skin with a cinderblock to get rid of these phantom crawls I’m feeling.

GIF: Tumblr