Some style decisions just drive us nuts. Sometimes we keep them secret, sometimes they’re worthy of debate, sometimes they cause us to rant. Perhaps irrationally. Today, some of us love rain boots and some of us hate them…
I want to let my undying and incredibly strong hatred be known for what one becomes reduced to wearing when the weather gets a little shitty: rain boots. They are the bane of my existence and an incredibly annoying fashion item that boggles my mind whenever I see someone wearing a pair. Tucked into jeans, under a long coat, with a skirt, however you wear them, I will never approve of them so don’t even try.
I for one, do not own a pair of rain boots, nor do I ever plan on owning or wearing any type of rain boot. In my obviously highly regarded and often law-basing opinion, they are ugly and they will never look good on me, let alone the millions of people who go out of their way to pay good money on pieces of thick, shiny, heeled rubber.
I’m five-foot-nothing, and my legs do not take well to plastic and rubber fondling my feet. I can’t even wear rubber flip flops without my entire foot ending up as one big, painful blister. I can only see one professional field in which wearing thick soled rubber rain boots is appropriate: fishermen. They wear galoshes because they are knee deep in water. I am not a fisherman and YOU are most definitely (probably) not a fisherman.
First off, I do not understand the amount of work that they 1) take to put on and 2) take to get off. Rubber seems to be very conducive to suction, especially when water is involved (go figure). Who wants to spend 20 minutes forcefully pulling a pair of boots off like a stubborn eyebrow hair? And even when they come off with relative ease, it’s like peeling a condom off your lower leg and I guess some people are into that, but that’s a big NO THANKS for me.
I am aware that rain boots can actively mimic the look and feel of regular, normal leather boots. That being said, regardless of texture, color, material, height, heel size, etc, nothing will come close to how great a nice pair of classic leather boots look on a cold day. Why replace a good boot (which exist to keep your feet warm on days when the weather isn’t so nice) with a pair of squeaky, absurd looking rain boots?
I’d also like to address something that gets more of a rise out of me then just someone in rain boots and jeans. For some reason, people seem to use terrible weather as an excuse to dress only for convenience and practicality (which, to be fair, are two words not found in my fashion vocabulary). While walking around my college campus, there seems to be a unique (see: ridiculous) trend of shoving sweatpants–or even worse patterned pajama pants–into rain boots… and calling it a day. What does that even accomplish?! You look mental. This kind of laziness paired with the obviously obnoxious and bizarre choices of patterns that lend themselves to rubber rain boots just spoils my taste for these apparently popular feet coverings..
Okay, so maybe not everyone puts as much thought into an outfit as I do, but come on, at least have the decency to realize that the Tinker Bell pajama pants clearly don’t go with the pink polka dot and heart boots you’ve vacuum sealed to your feet. Yeah, we get that you don’t want to get your feet wet because it rained three days ago and the puddles haven’t dried up, but why does that over rule any sense of sanity or cohesiveness in an outfit?
Going back to the whole regular boot idea, here’s my advice for those wanting to keep their feet dry during the bad weather currently dumped on us. Shoe companies strive to make better boots, ones that people will come looking for when the weather’s undesirable, so just stick with your go-to boot. Put down the black patent Hunter boots and walk swiftly but calmly in the opposite direction. Nothing to see here.